I would tell you where, but I forgot.
Well hello all! It's me! The flake!
Sorry for the lack of email last week, time was crazy and I let my urge to quest get the better of me. But I am here now! In the here-and-now! Which is both here and now! (Can anyone tell I'm just filling space because my life's not all that exciting?)
Cause I am.
If I didn't know better, I'd say that I've gotten all of my memories stolen by a pink brain-sucking alien who intends to build a theme park based off of the ideas he finds! But I do know better. It was a GREY alien, and I feel sorry for him. He should have invested his talents into the video game industry, theme parks are on their way out.
Well, I suppose a missionary story is in order! A story about DANGER! About FRIENDSHIP!! AND ABOUT BIONICLES!
In all reality, this story is about Bionicles.
So, Elder Gibbons and I were doing some service for a Jewish dude along with the other Elders in our ward, Elder Ruiz and Elder Olson. Before I begin, you need to know who these people are! Elder Ruiz literally invented stonewalling and if there was a "Strong Silent Type" contest, he wouldn't win because it's not pertinent to his salvation. Elder Olson is akin to a unicorn movie buff who hangs around Comicons because he wants to get the lighting director of his favorite film's autograph.
Anyway! So we were doing service, hula hoeing weeds and the like, and somehow the topic of conversation moves to old toys. Somebody then made the mistake of saying the word Bionicle.
Elder Gibbons loves Bionicles so much he would literally pay everything he owned to BECOME one. If you don't know what Bionicles are, please find out or this will make very little sense :D
CUT TO: Three hours later, Elder Gibbons has now told all of us the ENTIRE HISTORY of the Bionicle Universe, whipping Elder Olson into such a nostalgic frenzy that he appeared to have become his unicorn self in real life and was violently shooting rainbows everywhere. To those of us that know the Myers-Briggs test, he's an ENFP. It shows.
TO WRAP IT ALL UP: Jewish guy we're doing service for comes outside to show us his knife collection, (Cool) let us throw actual steel throwing stars he'd made himself, (WAY cool) and give us all free knives. (The coolieist) And even though Elder Olson almost got stabbed because the dude has really bad Parkinsons and shakes a lot, it all turned out really well!
Though apparently the letter J is a lie.
I'm sorry the story isn't more exciting this week! I will send cool stories and pictures next week, I promise!!!
I love you all! I would give all of you free knives as well if I could!
See you next time!!!
Elder Brooksby the III